Reading the title of today’s article may make you wonder
that I am probably going to be talking of some physical features and maybe talk
about how to hide them or not to hide them. But as a matter of fact I wish to
talk about flaws that probably are more reflective of our psychological
attributes and shape up our personalities.
Having a rather interesting conversation with one of my dear
friends who was distressed about the situation at work and constant nagging of
the boss, I happened to give some pep talk to her, as a reflex to make her feel
better. After we were done talking I was sitting and wondering to myself, it is
actually such a shame that we have been taught to not make mistakes, right from
our formative years. Making mistakes is actually been ridiculed upon. If a
child commits a mistake we have a tendency to scold or ridicule him, make him
feel miserable in order for him to realise that what he did was wrong. I do
understand that the idea behind that is negative conditioning and associating
the unpleasant behaviour with an unpleasant response will reinforce the
importance of not repeating the mistake again. But, hey, isn’t that how the
dogs or monkeys are trained. Humans, on the other hand, are believed to have
more complex brains and more complex algorithms in their mental circuits to be
just trained by negative conditioning responses. What such kind of ‘training’
rather does is associate the fear of committing mistakes. Fear of committing a
mistake will in turn make the person dread the actual process of initiating the
action. So consequently the ‘Fear of Failure’ actually instills the comfort of
‘Not Trying’ in a person. They want to feel safe in their comfort zone and decide
not to try or take risks. I have been guilty of occasionally doing the same. And
it just doesn’t end at the childhood. It keeps becoming worse as you grow up.
It becomes even worsely judgemental when it is regarding the physical aspects
and aesthetics.
“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them,
what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course we wouldn't
fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are.”
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| Wounded knees are signs of falling, but most importantly getting up after that. |
Mistakes are beautiful. They are a way to remind you how
brave you had been to try, how in spite of falling, you managed to valiantly
get up, how you may have stumbled but managed to keep moving. When a child who
is learning to walk, falls and bruises his knees, those scars will remind him
of his first steps, all his life. The scar on the forehead after falling from
the bike, will remind him of his first ride. Those marks of smoke in your kitchen
wall will remind you of your first burnt cake. That place in your heart which
still aches sometimes will remind you of the first heart-break. Going on the
right, straight path can be boring and a wrong turn may lead you to a beautiful
destination, the one that you didn’t imagine. Imagine the world without the
Penicillin (invention that was actually a mistake by Sir Alexander Flemming),
or your favourite chocolate chip cookies which were actually a chocolate
dessert gone wrong. Mistakes are not wrong. Mistakes make great stories.
Mistakes make great lessons. Mistakes make great people. Of course the idea is
not to keep making the same mistakes over and over again, but to learn from
them and make sure you don’t repeat them again, coz if you do keep repeating them, then you are
simply stupid.
So, why don’t we teach our children, our students, our
teenagers, our employees, our friends, that it’s okay to make mistakes? It’s
okay to be flawed. It’s okay not to be perfect each and every time. Because,
every flaw is actually a sign post of your attempt. Every mistake will show
that you had the guts to make an attempt, to give your effort and the courage
to learn and improve from that mistake. When our child commits a mistake,
instead of scolding or ridiculing him, why don’t we try reasoning with them the
cause for the mistake, try explaining them that how much you appreciate the
fact that they tried, insist that so what if every attempt doesn’t succeed,
that shouldn’t stop them from going ahead. Encourage them to find a reason for
the failure and push them to try again the next time. When your boss snaps at
you when you have committed a mistake, why don’t we learn to accept that the
anger is directed towards our betterment in performance and personal
development, put up a smile on our faces, realise our mistake, apologize, make
a promise to ourselves and if needed note it in pen and paper to not repeat the
same mistake again and keep moving ahead. However sometimes one lifetime is not
enough to commit all the mistakes by yourself and thus you have to keep your
senses open and learn from other people’s mistakes as well. Discuss your flaws
with others and they will open you up to their world of flaws.
It’s the time to celebrate your mistakes as they show you
tried. Show off those bruised knees and scarred foreheads. It’s time to let the
world know that, “Yes I fell, but I got up as well.” It’s the time to Flaunt your
Flaws and let the world know you are Fearless to Fly.
