Objects in the Mirror

               Hello friends, I know that my posts have been much more infrequent than ever, but I am busy collecting experiences and inspirations from the world. I was away for some time for work purpose, on a trip that I decided to end on a sweeter note of travel and exploration. The wanderer in me and the lust for the taste of local culture brought me to a beautiful ancestral huge home of a local couple, which I shared with a Lithuanian writer who had been staying there for 3 weeks. He was a very quiet, shy and a seemingly serious person. It took me more than a hello to strike a conversation with him. A missed boat ride and the fact that he was a writer was a reason good enough for me to take that extra step to get the thoughts flowing and the words rambling. It is always enriching to have conversations with people and to exchange ideas and thoughts and you never know, what secret treasures are waiting to be unravelled. This conversation with this very intelligent writer was one of those intriguing conversations that I felt I had to share with everyone. For some strange reason, his name seems to be fleeting away from my memory, but not taking any credits of the philosophy away from him, I’m trying my best to quote and reproduce the exact conversation that we had. This is also the part of introduction to his book with the same title, yet to be published, so if you ever come across a book of similar name in future, most definitely read it, I can assure you, it will be fantastic.

The Yellow kitchen

              “Hey, I haven’t seen you around since I have been here.” I said, stirring my cup of tea, and sitting on the quaint little dining table in the yellow kitchen of the house that I was living in, in Pondicherry. He smiled, and said, “Yes, I’m quite busy writing and I also have to finish this presentation for the conference that is coming up in two days”, he said cutting up some fruit for a snack. “Sorry, I forgot to formally introduce myself”, saying so I gave him my brief introduction and so did he, adding that “I would love to chat with you, but I have this thing I need to finish first, why don’t I catch up with you a little later, post dinner maybe?”. “Alright, do you want me to get some dessert for you?” I asked and he gave me a nod before going away to his writing haven.

              A few hours later, I knocked on his door, hoping for an interesting conversation, with a tiny shot glass filled with chocolate mousse in my hand. “I’ll be right there in the kitchen”, he said. After a few exchange of words to break the ice about the usual weather and politics, movies and stuff, “So, a writer!” I exclaimed. “What do you write about?” He replied Indian movies and his psychoanalytical and philosophical take on them. I was amazed at how Indian cinema can have such an impact on people so as to bring them to our country and live here to write a book on it. “Philosophy and Psychoanalytical take! Now that interests me.” I had finally found an interesting spark in the conversation. “Tell me more.” Apparently, it seemed as though, he was waiting for a similar spark, and suddenly with an excitement in his voice like a little child who is about to open his birthday present, he started saying,

             

            “The title of my book is ‘Objects in the mirror’. And you know I got that idea from the rear view mirror in the vehicles in India.” I was intrigued. And he described this scene he remembered from the movie NH-10, where Anushka Sharma (the female protagonist) is sitting in her car while her husband gets out of the car to get directions. She is this modern, independent, urban girl in a rural land. A stark contrast between urban and rural cultures has been very well painted in the scene. Suddenly a rural, bearded, rugged man, in his traditional tattered clothes comes up to her window and is staring at her which startles her and to an extent scares her. Although the man does nothing except stare at this strong, singular, urban woman, who is different than the women he is used to seeing, abusing and beating up in his village, there is a sense of fear of being robbed or harmed by his empty stare so she quickly rolls up the window. Her husband returns with the directions and they drive off. The end of this scene shows the rear view mirror showing the villager seeming to go farther away from them as they drive but the rear view mirror reading ‘Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear’. 

The Other

          By now, I was mesmerised at the detailed and such an in-depth analysis of such a simple scene of less than a minute that apparently was insignificant enough for me to forget, but had inspired an idea to someone to write a book. Talk about small things inspiring huge ones. Then he started describing his psychological and analytical take on that scene. He said, “There is a concept of  the Self and the Other in psychology. The Self is you, the person and the Others can be whoever in the picture. Usually it’s someone around you, someone in the same scene as you are, someone that you can compare yourself or your situation to."
         'Without the Other, the Self cannot exist.'
Then describing the scene, he said, “Being an urban individual for me the Self was the female protagonist in the movie and the rural man was the Other. It was a perfect contrast between the Urban and Rural India. She saw the seemingly normal rural individual, the Other as a threat, as something that would frighten her, which probably may or may not be justified, but it created a strong emotion. At the end of the scene, when the seeming threat is going away from them, it is appearing to get smaller and that relieves her, but the rear view mirror is reading ‘Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear’. Another excellent contrast. In our lives, we always have the Other, who is could be a person or an object. Sometimes even situations can be defined as the Other. In people who may regard as to comparisons or interactions with anyone but themselves as futile, for them the Mirror becomes the Other. Coming to that, you may think that the mirror is just a reflection, technically. But psychologically it is the Other in the mirror. And depending on what you are thinking of the Self or the Other at that particular time, you would see the similar reflection in the mirror. How many times, have you woken up and looked in the mirror and felt beautiful or ugly. Your ‘Self’, doesn’t change, but the Other in the mirror changes according to the psychological state of mind that day. And that is the story of the Objects in the mirror.”

Reflection of the Self, as the Other you desire

               I was awed by his words and ideas that came out like from a seasoned writer’s pen. These things started making so much sense in my head. It just made me realised a very important truth in life. It is you who will decide the state of others in your life and their importance. You can use this psychological tool too much of your advantage. Want to feel amazing, look at self and compare with other. And the best Other to do that, is the mirror. Feeling negative? Look at the Other in the mirror as a positive person. Feeling low? Look at the Other in the mirror as a confident person. Your brain does know that the Other is just a reflection of yourself and thus you can slowly and gradually learn to fool your psyche into instilling so much positivity and confidence, into yourself. Although it might not be as easy as it sounds but I’m sure our mind can be trained to use this philosophy to its best extent. Isn’t this the same as creating a positive vibe for yourself.

So next time you glance at a mirror, don’t just look at a reflection, but try to look at the objects in the mirror.