Flaunt your Flaws...

           

          Reading the title of today’s article may make you wonder that I am probably going to be talking of some physical features and maybe talk about how to hide them or not to hide them. But as a matter of fact I wish to talk about flaws that probably are more reflective of our psychological attributes and shape up our personalities.

               Having a rather interesting conversation with one of my dear friends who was distressed about the situation at work and constant nagging of the boss, I happened to give some pep talk to her, as a reflex to make her feel better. After we were done talking I was sitting and wondering to myself, it is actually such a shame that we have been taught to not make mistakes, right from our formative years. Making mistakes is actually been ridiculed upon. If a child commits a mistake we have a tendency to scold or ridicule him, make him feel miserable in order for him to realise that what he did was wrong. I do understand that the idea behind that is negative conditioning and associating the unpleasant behaviour with an unpleasant response will reinforce the importance of not repeating the mistake again. But, hey, isn’t that how the dogs or monkeys are trained. Humans, on the other hand, are believed to have more complex brains and more complex algorithms in their mental circuits to be just trained by negative conditioning responses. What such kind of ‘training’ rather does is associate the fear of committing mistakes. Fear of committing a mistake will in turn make the person dread the actual process of initiating the action. So consequently the ‘Fear of Failure’ actually instills the comfort of ‘Not Trying’ in a person. They want to feel safe in their comfort zone and decide not to try or take risks. I have been guilty of occasionally doing the same. And it just doesn’t end at the childhood. It keeps becoming worse as you grow up. It becomes even worsely judgemental when it is regarding the physical aspects and aesthetics.

“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are.”

Wounded knees are signs of falling, but most importantly getting up after that. 

              Mistakes are beautiful. They are a way to remind you how brave you had been to try, how in spite of falling, you managed to valiantly get up, how you may have stumbled but managed to keep moving. When a child who is learning to walk, falls and bruises his knees, those scars will remind him of his first steps, all his life. The scar on the forehead after falling from the bike, will remind him of his first ride. Those marks of smoke in your kitchen wall will remind you of your first burnt cake. That place in your heart which still aches sometimes will remind you of the first heart-break. Going on the right, straight path can be boring and a wrong turn may lead you to a beautiful destination, the one that you didn’t imagine. Imagine the world without the Penicillin (invention that was actually a mistake by Sir Alexander Flemming), or your favourite chocolate chip cookies which were actually a chocolate dessert gone wrong. Mistakes are not wrong. Mistakes make great stories. Mistakes make great lessons. Mistakes make great people. Of course the idea is not to keep making the same mistakes over and over again, but to learn from them and make sure you don’t repeat them again, coz if you do keep repeating them, then you are simply stupid.

             So, why don’t we teach our children, our students, our teenagers, our employees, our friends, that it’s okay to make mistakes? It’s okay to be flawed. It’s okay not to be perfect each and every time. Because, every flaw is actually a sign post of your attempt. Every mistake will show that you had the guts to make an attempt, to give your effort and the courage to learn and improve from that mistake. When our child commits a mistake, instead of scolding or ridiculing him, why don’t we try reasoning with them the cause for the mistake, try explaining them that how much you appreciate the fact that they tried, insist that so what if every attempt doesn’t succeed, that shouldn’t stop them from going ahead. Encourage them to find a reason for the failure and push them to try again the next time. When your boss snaps at you when you have committed a mistake, why don’t we learn to accept that the anger is directed towards our betterment in performance and personal development, put up a smile on our faces, realise our mistake, apologize, make a promise to ourselves and if needed note it in pen and paper to not repeat the same mistake again and keep moving ahead. However sometimes one lifetime is not enough to commit all the mistakes by yourself and thus you have to keep your senses open and learn from other people’s mistakes as well. Discuss your flaws with others and they will open you up to their world of flaws. 

               It’s the time to celebrate your mistakes as they show you tried. Show off those bruised knees and scarred foreheads. It’s time to let the world know that, “Yes I fell, but I got up as well.” It’s the time to Flaunt your Flaws and let the world know you are Fearless to Fly.