When the Earth Shook and the Souls Stirred!!!

                    Today to begin with, I would take time to mourn and pray for all those unfortunate souls who had to bear the brunt of Mother Nature’s calamity and are stranded away from their homes and may have lost their loved ones. I also pray for those adventure seeking souls that may have been involved in the avalanches at Mt. Everest.

                   This incident brings back old memories. We had been unfortunate to experience such a mishap in our lives once. I very clearly remember that day. It was January 26^th, year 2001. It was a Republic Day and a national holiday for us. We were supposed to go to school for flag hoisting ceremony. I was having my 10^th standard pre-boards exams. It was a usual holiday morning. My sister and I were sleeping in our room in a two BHK home, of a 10 storeyed building. My mother woke me and my sister. Wearily and lazily we opened our eyes still lying in our bed. I saw my father, who usually goes and offers his prayers to the temple before breakfast had just come out of the bath and went in his room to get ready for pooja. Still, not wanting to get up, I kept lying down on my bed and could hear my sister go for her bath. Lying in the bed, I decided, I would not be going to the school and would rather study for my exams. I heard another call from my mother, and it was in a stern voice this time. I dragged myself out of my bed and started brushing my teeth. Within a few minutes all of us were at the dining area having our breakfast. My father was back from his pooja, and ready to go to work, my sister was dressed in her neatly ironed school uniform and her hair tied in two tight plaits, tied with blue ribbons, and my mother came with a tray of breakfast with an apron with stains of turmeric tied at her waist. And I was sitting there with my hair all messed up, in my night suit, still sleepy. We finished our breakfast, my sister climbed downstairs for her school and dad, left for his work. I rushed for a bath before I would get a scolding from my mother and my mother started making lunch. I was having my bath, still feeling lazy, with my feet dipped in a bucket of warm water and making the study plan for the day when suddenly I saw that the bucket started shaking vigorously. Before I could realize what was happening, there was cement scraps falling on my head from the ceiling. I was looking up and around and saw the walls were shaking too. I was still trying to figure out what the hell was happening, when I heard my mother banging the bathroom door and shouting, “It’s an earth-quake, get out of the bathroom, quick”. Scared and shivering, I wrapped a towel around myself and got out of the bathroom. My mom handed me my shorts and tee and I hurriedly wore them and we rushed downstairs. I could see everyone from the building yelling and running down the stairs. I could see the stair case trembling, the trees outside shaking and everything was mayhem. Still not realizing what was actually happening. 

                   We climbed down and rushed to the garden in front of the building. My sister who was ready to leave for school was also there. My mother was relieved to see her and hugged her. She was scared and confused just like me about what had just happened. She had actually seen a building just across the street collapse into a pile of dust. But, it was impossible for us to realize the kind of impact the earthquake, that had just happened, may have caused everywhere. And there were we, standing in our garden looking at our building, that was our home and the place that we loved, and suddenly it looked scary to us. It seemed as if this giant structure of cement was at us trying to kill us.Soon my father returned from midway to his work. I was still worried about my exams, not knowing that the thing that had just happened was of such serious magnitude. I was telling my mother to allow me to go and get my books else, I would fail in my exams. Thinking of it, I am quite surprised, she didn't slap me then. Anyway, my friends and me, we started chatting and playing, and the men of the building had gone across the street to help the people buried under the rubble. Then slowly we could hear the sirens of the ambulances going to and fro. The wailing cries of people after they had seen and realized that some of their loved ones were no more had filled the air. Slowly and gradually the air had started getting heavier and we started to realize that what had happened was a very serious calamity and although we were safe, a lot of loss had happened in many people’s lives. 

               We were taken to our uncle’s home, which unlike ours wasn't a high-rise but was a one storeyed bungalow. There was news pouring in. Then we got to know that the epicenter of the earthquake was in a village in Gujarat called Bhuj which had the maximum amount of destruction. Figures and digits of the number of people who were found dead, and people injured the magnitude and the duration of the earthquake was displayed and the analysis showing the amount of damage a particular magnitude of earthquake can cause was discussed. There were stories of people whose lives changed due to this calamity, like a man who was getting married, lost all the ladies in his family, who were getting ready in a beauty parlor in a building that collapsed, some few month old kid who survived, only to be left orphaned with no parents or guardians to look after, and some person whose all four limbs were damaged but managed to survive, which was a punishment even worse than death, a school where all the kids in the parade got buried and so on and so forth. The television was bombarded by the loud glaring news about the earthquake and there were sad, disturbing photographs of people who were buried or found alive. There was negativity all around. Only people could talk about was death and damage. None of us could sleep that night with the fear of the earthquake happening again and thought that, “what if we get buried and end up dead in the morning?”. Everyone was trying to tell each other to have faith and go off to sleep but no one of us could. We had kept a water filled bottle in the spotlight so that if the water moves we would know that the earthquake has struck again. There were theories that animals could sense such calamities well in advance so if you would hear a dog bark, you should be more cautious. Everything of this was more of scare created rumors rather than actual truth. Anyway, the good thing for me in this situation was that I got a chance to stay with my cousins and my grandparents for more than I ever had imagined. We were united and would support and try and soothe each other’s fears. Although the news and the disturbing pictures continued to pour in, we gradually started keeping the fear of the earthquake behind us and tried to bring as much normalcy in life as much we could.

             

               All the high-rises were examined and certified to be safe to be lived in but it actually took more than just a certificate for us to trust in that mammoth- like building who in our minds was out to crush us under itself. We were made to give our board exams in the tents outside the schools due to fear of the quake striking again. After months of letting the fears pass away and the wounds of that ghastly day getting healed and scarred, we were able to live in our homes again. The cemented cracks in the walls of our homes kept reminding us of the unfortunate day but it also reminded us that we were lucky enough to be saved and we have resurfaced after coming through one of the biggest and scariest experience of our lives. 

              

               The lessons that I did learn from this day was that, your family is your biggest strength and staying together will always instill hope and ability to face the most difficult situations in life. It also taught me that such calamity can break people’s homes, can shatter their belongings, but it will never break their spirit or shatter their hopes. It will teach you to come together and make us realize what humanity is all about. Because in that need of hour, if you see your enemy buried under the cement, you wouldn't think, “Let it be, I’ll let him die, he has jeopardized my promotion”, but you would go there and pick up the boulders of cement and give a hand to get the person out. Another thing that I did learn was no matter what, life goes on.  I know it’s easy for me to say that life goes on because I didn't lose a loved one in the mishap, and I agree to the fact that I may not be the best person to comment but I have witnessed some of my close colleagues and friends who did lose someone precious. Things won’t get to what they were but this doesn't mean you would stop living. The wounds will always heal and will give you a newer and a stronger perspective in life. 

              

                  And the most important lesson that I learnt though was that negativity fuels negativity. We weren't that scared of the whole event until the news was bombarded to us with the ghastly pictures and the scary analysis. Although it is a good thing to be informed about the situation but hearing only that the entire time does multiply the fear and insecurities in your mind. And now-a-days with the social media becoming the most important method of spreading news and communication, it is my sincere request to all my dear readers to avoid spreading negativity. I know we feel sad and disheartened for the people suffering in Nepal but posting pictures, sending videos, or discussing numbers will not help anyone. If you can, extend your help in any little way that you can, do it. If you can, go there and help them find people, feed them, help them build shelters, donate money, food, blankets, create awareness about the helplines and whatever you can, do it. But please just for the sake of posting don’t encourage negativity and don’t spread rumors about this serious situations. Please discourage posting pictures and making the already scared people of the affected country even more fearful. Instead why not spread positivity, spread love and extend a hand of help. Stay positive and help them come out of their fears with hope and positivity instead of despair and helplessness. Show your support, not sympathy.

PS- I know it would spring in your mind that if I am requesting everyone to not talk about it, why am I posting a story about it? But in my defense I would say that we came out of the situation and have seen a lot of people live their lives again and my only aim is to instill a hope that everything will get fine if we get united and remind ourselves of the humanity that we are supposed to have. And this post has no pictures on purpose.    

A Journey that never ended- II

                 This is another story of a friend I met in train. Again it is about a journey which led me to find a wonderful friend. As I have already established that travelling in trains is my favorite thing in the world and the most practical means of transport, and I can’t thank the Indian Railways enough for introducing me to some most wonderful people, I have ever met.

                This incident happened sometime around October- November. I was on self-discovery mode at this time. Having gone through certain circumstances, I had made up my mind to keep all my senses open, discover myself, to let go of my inhibitions and meet different people and absorb as much as new experiences as I can. This time I was travelling with a group of people, my age and younger, as we were going to this beautiful beach on Konkan coastline. I had my neighbor-friend with me who actually was the one to suggest that we go on this trip. We had got our booking done past the closing dates and thus our tickets were in a different coach than the rest of the people. We boarded the train and arranged our luggage. Then we were asked to sit in our seats until the tickets got checked. We did so, and after the TT went away, because we didn’t know anybody on the group, we continued to sit on our seats. Opposite our seats was a couple who weren’t Asian. They were the ‘Foreigner Couple’. I thought to myself, in this uninteresting and dull journey, let me talk to these people and who knows I may get to strike an interesting conversation and learn something new about some different country. I was looking at them trying to figure out how do I start a conversation (it must have been weird for them, to see me stare at them, but they must have been used to the stares, having a different colored skin.) The train stopped at a station and the boy went out. The girl was actually lying down on the middle berth. She briefly opened her eyes and looked outside. Then she glanced at us. I just gave her a tiny smile. She was indifferent and she probably thought its best in her safety not to talk to strangers. She went off to sleep again. The boy came in and the train started moving. Gathering some composure again, I started the conversation. I just casually asked him, “Where are you guys travelling to?” He gave a very tight-lipped reply saying to “Goa”. I was like, okay. Probably they don’t want to talk. I left him alone and started looking out of the window and absorbing the lush green fields of the beautiful Konkan line. If you have ever travelled to Goa in a train, you would realize that the journey is as beautiful and refreshing as is the place itself, if not more. Then he probably loosened his guards and asked, “Where are you guys going?” I told him, about our trip, group and stuff. He, was a very sweet guy, and introduced his girl to us. They said, they were from London and were on a 3 week vacation to see entire India. We started talking, the boy sitting on his seat a bit bent over as there wasn’t enough height for him and the girl still half asleep and probably not as interested in the conversation. It took a little while for her to get over her sniffles (well, the Indian weather didn’t go well with her nasal mucosa, I guess) and come down to sit with us. But when she got down, and finally the ice was broken, she got involved in the conversation and very animatedly was engrossed in talking about her friends and her rabbit and her life in London. The memorable bit of our conversation was when she was surprised that in spite of being her age; I was still living with my parents and largely had no life of my own. I thought to myself although that was a bit harsh but it was the truth. We also spoke about our likes and dislikes and our lifestyles and our work patterns. She also treated us to some Turkish delights and MnM’s. Thus we passed our 10 hour journey exchanging our cultural differences, and talking about various interesting places for them to visit, etc. Finally when it was time for us to leave, we exchanged our contact details and I invited her to come to my home. I don’t know, why I did that, I usually don’t invite people I meet on train to my home, but there was something about them especially her, that wanted me to stay in touch and show them a part of my India. 

              After reaching home a week later, I emailed her and then we started conversing on emails and messenger. She would tell me about the new places that they kept visiting. Finally towards the end of her trip she messaged me that she would be coming to my home for about 3-4 days. I was ecstatic and started planning how I would take her to different places and show her some of my favorite and to go places from my bucket list. I was so excited that I couldn’t help telling everyone about her visit. My mom and dad being very sweet people, said, “Of course dear, if she is your friend, this is your home and you can invite whoever you want to.” Although it wasn’t everywhere that I received the same kind of response, some people also tried to warn me and reprimanded me to be careful of inviting a stranger to my home. I don’t blame anyone for their response because it may seem quite strange to hear. But sometimes you have to trust your instincts and go with what your heart tells you is right. Hence after a few warnings from my parents like, “I won’t allow drinking or drugs at my home.” I went to the airport to receive her. With so many mixed reactions by my friends and family, while I was waiting I had mixed thoughts about her arrival. I was still pinching myself, “Is this really happening?” After the common delay of about half an hour, her flight finally arrived. I was in dismay. I wasn’t sure if I’d recognize her, if she would recognize me and so on. But when she actually arrived, my face lit up. I recognized her instantly and so did she. We hugged each other and sat in the car and drove home. We had a nice warm hearty home-cooked meal that mom had prepared, that too a candle light dinner (that was thanks to the electricity failure that day). Since the climate was warm, we decided to go for a drive and went and sat in a café. From the moment that I saw her all my anxiety about her being a stranger vanished away. It felt as if we have known each other for ages. We talked about everything on earth. We would stay awake up to late nights talking and talking. 

               As luck would have it, I couldn’t get leave from work for the entire four days that she stayed and all my plans kind of failed. But we did plan shorter trips. Firstly we went to the Little Rann of Kutch, which is an hour and half drive from my home. It was a beautiful place. There, we met another elderly English gentleman and two French ladies. Never in my life had I seen so many people who were so much travelled and it was so enriching hearing different stories. The next morning we went for a safari. We interacted with the locals there, which was a family who harvested in the salt pans there. She was so friendly with them and in spite of the language barrier she managed to effortlessly converse with them. I was spell bound. She, being an animal lover also, was playing with the huge dogs at the place, the kind of dogs one would be afraid of, were actually wagging their tails and waiting for their turn to be pampered by her. I called her a ‘Dog whisperer’. Later we had lunch there and made up a plan for the next day sitting with the elderly English man for the next day. We left for home, then. 

             After we reached home, we went out for dinner with my parents and she bonded with them too, so effortlessly that it would never occur to anyone that they have met for the first time and she was a total stranger to them. We roamed about the city the next day and the day after that she went out with the English man we met at Little Rann of Kutch. We would everyday have late night talks and I had told her each and every detail of my life and so had she. For some strange reason your heart just knows whom to trust and whom to tell all weird stuff about yourself. Due to paucity of time I had owing to my job, my mother accompanied her for some shopping and again she never let the language barrier come in between her interacting with my mum. Finally, it was the day that she had to leave. I was very sad that I couldn't drop her to the station, but my father promised to get her safely boarded in the train. She did, after I said my good byes to her on the phone. I came back home to a surprise gift that she had left me on my pillow. Those four days that I spent with her were one of the most unexpected and the most fun days in a very long time. Until after a long time after she left all my conversations, be it with anyone wouldn't be without a mention of her. I was literally star-struck by her, coz for me she was a ‘Star-Traveller’.

       

               I learnt a lot of things from her. She was my age but in spite of that she had seen more than half of the world. She was fearless, street smart, compassionate and would mingle with anyone so well. She made me realize that if you treat the world with kindness and compassion the world will mirror it back to you. She taught me how to observe wild life and how to do bird watching and on a lighter note, she also taught me how to take secret photographs.

               She knew how naïve and inexperienced I was and how little of the world I had seen and she felt that I should be having more than this. My mom tells me how she folded her hands in Namaste and told her to please send her to London to see a new city, visit her and make newer friends. We still talk and I can say I have found a friend, who is like my soul-sister and my best friend, whom I can rely on telling anything and everything and in spite of living so far from each other, we are so close by heart. She would teach me how to keep myself safe and go wherever I'd  go as if I owned the place and am completely well versed with the surroundings. There was a time that I was travelling alone to a city in southern India for a conference and the only person that I could think of asking how to travel safe as an alone girl traveler was her. It was ironic that, me who is born and brought up in India, is asking for travelling tips to travel in a city in India, to an English girl who has visited India for just 3 weeks, but such was her magic. She is everything that I hoped and dreamt I could be. She continues to inspire me at each and every step of my life.  

PS- This is especially for you, Miss Star-Traveller, I really miss talking to you and I miss you so much. Please get in touch. I love you lots. Can’t wait for my London trip!!!

A Journey that never ended

Hi friends, again I have been away for quite some time due to my hectic schedule but I am back with another one.I have realised that usually what I write about is philosophical and excerpts of my thoughts on the bigger perspective on things, but today, its different. I actually am missing a dear friend of mine with whom I have been suddenly out of touch and hence, I am in a mood of flashbacks.

                 Today I am going to tell you all about some amazing people that I have met in my life in the most unexpected way and how they have turned up to stay in my life. There are so many of such friendships that I have been lucky to have but the ones that I am writing about today are the ones that I have met in the train. Yes I have to thank Indian Railways in more than one ways. Apart from providing us with the cheapest and most reliable mode of transport, they have given me friends for life. This post is in two parts, the part one of which is about this boy whom I will call ‘ The Boy with a Golden Heart’

                 Being a medical student who studied away from home, travelling in train was the most practical form of transportation for me back home. The travels were quite frequent and usually with me as a single traveller without a company. And like all worried parents I would get a list of do’s and don’ts of travelling alone from mine, the most important one in capitals being DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS. And as an obedient child I would nod and agree to each and every instruction given to me and follow it by the book. However during the first year of our college, our prelim exams got preponed and I was stuck in the campus after the exams for almost a week. I decided that I wanted to travel back, plus there was some family function that was coming up in Mumbai so I decided it was a good idea to travel to Mumbai and then from there go back home. Although I booked the tickets, it being a vacation season and short notice, I didn't get a reserved seat. Persistent to go home though, I decided to board the train any which ways. My plan was I would look for a kind looking, elderly lady, keep my luggage in the space beneath her seat and request her to allow me to just sit on the seat while she could snore her way to her destination.

                It was such a stupid plan. Because it was an overly crowded train with so many people without a reserved seat and no kind elderly aunties on the train, I realized soon after I boarded the train that it was a pathetic idea. However since I had already boarded the train, I had no other option but to try my luck. So with a heavy backpack on my back, I started trying my luck. The first lady that I asked was travelling with her family. She looked in her fifties, with a kind look on her face. With puppy eyes and a cute smile, I went up to her, introduced myself and told her, “Aunty, can I please keep my bags below your seat and sit here? I will not bother you.” She looked at me with kind eyes, then she looked at her son (I think he was her son), he narrowed his eyes, frowned and moved his head side to side to signal her no. She said no to me with regret in her eyes. I got really disappointed but kept trying. I must have cruised through at least two coaches and about a dozen aunties’ denials later, I had started getting scared and tensed about the 13 hour long journey ahead of me and how would I be able to stand the entire time in the train with so much of luggage on my shoulders. I started thinking how foolish I was to just jump in the train without a reserved seat. But then suddenly a young college boy came up to me. Well, knowing how the college guys usually are, I didn't even look at him, and there I shifted in a defensive mode. I didn't want to react or say anything. I kept looking away from him and moved ahead. But he was too good a person to go away. He called me, saying “Hi, are you looking for a seat? You don’t seem to have a reserved seat.” I didn't respond at all and looked away. It was very rude, but he was determined to help me I guess. (God must have told him, ‘Go help this poor girl’). He said, “I have a seat that I am not using, you can sleep there.” Before I could say anything, he added “I and my college friends are travelling back home and my seat is not with them. We guys are anyways going to have fun the entire night and not sleep so my seat will be vacant, and you can use it.” Suddenly, my eyes lit up with relief, my defensive body language changed to more relaxed one. I told him, “Really! Do you really not want to sleep on your seat? Are you sure you can give it to me?” He re-assured me and took me where his seat was supposed to be. He even offered to help me carry my luggage. He helped me arrange my luggage and said I could be at peace now. I was so happy that I could travel without any difficulties now. I thanked him profusely and then he left. I said my prayers and thanked God for being kind enough to me and sending him to help me. Well I went off to sleep. 

               

                Suddenly the train came to a jerky halt. It must have been some signal or something in the way. I was startled and suddenly woke up from the sleep. When I opened my eyes I saw that boy sitting slouched (he was tall enough not to fit in the cramped up space) trying to doze off on the lower berth. He was actually in this position, which I was supposed to be, only so that he could help me. I felt really bad for him and guilty as well. I got down from the upper berth that was actually his, and tried to wake him up. I told him, “I am sorry, you must have wanted to sleep but because of me you couldn't. Please go up and sleep and I will be fine down”. He said that he was fine and had just come. (though I suspected that was a lie, but I didn’t say anything). Then we sat and started chatting. He told me about himself, where he was from and about his college and his friends etc. and so did I. We kept talking almost the entire journey then. Later when it was time to get down, I took out one of the limited edition glass painted mugs that I was carrying as a present for my parents wrapped up in a shiny golden wrapper and gave it to him, for being so kind and helping and making my dreaded journey so comfortable and fun. We exchanged contact details and as our station came, we went our own ways. 

                                                                                                                            

                                                

               This was a day some 10 odd years back and I can proudly say that it’s been decade and we still stand strong as friends. We did meet a couple of times after that, but our major communication was through phone calls and messages. There was a time when he realized that it was inappropriate for him to talk to me for obvious reasons (I never ever had to tell him that, but he was smart enough to figure that out on his own), and he silently backed out and tried maintaining minimum to nil communication. We still would manage to have updates about each other’s lives. There was a time when I needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on and I knew, one phone call to him and he would be there for me no matter what. He would lend an ear to my woes, he would pass crazy comments on my situation and he would do what it takes to make me feel good again. and he would have his share of  happy-sad stories of his crushes and relationships. We are from different backgrounds, be it education wise, city wise, career wise or be it in anyways. Who would have thought I would meet this amazing person on a train journey and be friends for life?  I could never have met this 'Boy with a Golden Heart' ever in my life, had it not been that crazy decision of mine to board on that train without a reservation.Life brings you wonderful surprises when you least expect them and he is one of those wonderful surprises.

PS: This is my favorite story and after I narrate it, a plenty of times to my friends and have been asked by a lot of my friends, if I have any romantic feelings or a crush on him. And my only reply would be "I would never risk my precious friendship with him by making it complicated with the things that could be so volatile and fickle. He is my confidante and he wants to stay that, I would want him to stay that, my best friend, who I met on the train."